Thursday, July 16, 2009

No more backseat driving.

I've been doing a "Bible study" with some friends called For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. It's a tough one!! It takes us into the inner thought life of men and let me tell you... I can't believe some of things I read!! But if I am honest I have to say the information is probably right (especially considering that she did a lot of surveys to get her information) and being that it is probably right has meant that I have needed to make a lot of changes.

One of those changes... no more "backseat driving".

I'm sure I'm not the only wife to think that her husband doesn't know how to drive just because he doesn't do everything in the car just as I would. Because of this I would be constantly telling him to slow down, hit the brakes, don't go yet, etc. Of course, Mike is an excellent driver and has never got me in an accident.

In reading this book I have found that doing little things like keeping my mouth shut while Mike is driving is a little way that I can let him know that I trust him. Feldhahn says...

"We don't realize that the act of forcing ourselves to trust our men in these little things means so much to them, but it does. It's not a big deal to us, so we don't get that it's a big deal to them. We don't get that our responses to these little choices to trust or not trust--or at least act like we do!--are interpreted as signs of our overall trust and respect for them as men."

SO... I've been trying to keep my mouth shut in the car. I try to catch myself before I throw my hand out in the signal that lets him know he should be slowing down already. I'll often get my hand half way out and then pull it back and sit on it. Or I let a word get out but stop myself before finishing the phrase.

I have no idea if Mike has noticed this. I haven't really told Mike much about the study (and he doesn't read my blog so this should be safe) because I don't want him to know everything that I am working on right now. I will tell him in a few weeks when I am done with the study. However... if he does notice me stopping half way or sitting on my hands with a really tense look on my face he probably thinks I have gone nuts.

It's just a habit that I need to change.



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