Saturday, March 20, 2010

I finally know what I want to do with my life.

I always wonder why we are supposed to decide at 18 years old what we want to do with our lives and then spend a fortune going to college to get some training to do that thing. How many people at 18 know themselves well enough to truly know how they want to spend the rest of their lives??? Most of you know that I went to school for elementary and special education. I have my degrees. No certification. I looooove children. I hate teaching in the schools. I've never used my degrees.

It doesn't really bother me. I enjoyed college. I met Mike at college. I have a lot of great memories from the college years. I just wish I would have actually got a degree in something I might use.

In the past couple of years I have come to know myself much better than I did at 18 years old. I've grown and changed so much. And sometimes I just surprise myself with what I discover in my own heart.

You see... I have ALWAYS without a doubt been certain that I would always work with children. I have never been an adult person. You put me in a room where there are adults and kids and you will find me hanging out with the kids. It's where I'm comfortable. It makes me happy. I've always said I will have a ton of kids in my home. That doesn't mean I will personally grow and birth them all... it means that I might adopt, or foster parent. And I certainly want to be that home in the neighborhood that all the kids want to come hang out at. A safe place... especially for the ones who's parents can't be home when school lets out. I think everyone deserves a good chance at life and I want to help kids get that.

Lately though, my hearts desires and dreams have been changing. I still loooove kids and they will always have a large place in my heart and my life. BUT... somewhere along the way my heart has grown this space for women.

I think it all started when I got pregnant for the first time and became a mother. I realized how absolutely tough it can be to be a woman. And sooo many of us have deep hurts and they affect our lives. I've realized that so many women feel alone and misunderstood. So many women feel that what they do doesn't matter. They feel insignificant.

I want to help women find healing for their hearts. I want to help them work through their deepest hurts and find their strength again. To realize the importance of their lives. To understand that they truly do matter and are needed. I want to help them grow in God's love and be fully the woman God intended for them to be. I love to help women connect with other women. I always share my friends. I love to bring groups together and see what happens. It's exciting!

Anyways... all that to say this...

I think that I would like to go back to school some day. You know, when my kids are a little bit older. And I think that I would like to go for some form of counseling. And photography.

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