Sunday, May 23, 2010

Saying no to cookies.

Most of you know that I don't eat sugar. It's an addiction so it's all or none. I choose none. By not eating sugar I've kind of given myself the freedom to not have to count calories or watch every bite that I put in my mouth. It works for me. When I eat sugar, without fail, I gain weight. It's a fact. I don't know the word moderation when it comes to sugar.

This is not an easy thing for me. I loooove sugar and all the yummy things it comes in. Cookies. Candy. Chocolate. Cake. Ice cream. I love that stuff. But I don't love being overweight.

It's a tough choice. Sugar is in my face all the time. I have to say no all the time. I constantly have people saying things like "Oh just try one bite! You HAVE to taste this!" or "One cookie won't kill you." But it will. Just like an alcoholic can't have a drink... I can't have that cookie.

Yesterday was a struggle. We were at a wedding and oh the cookies!!! I swear the table was a mile long and had every kind of cookie imaginable! It was amazing. I walked by it to get to the dance floor and could just smell cookie. It was amazing. And they had my favorite kind! Those peanut butter cookies with the hershey kiss on top. It's been sooo long since I've had one. I wanted one. I wanted one BAD! In fact I wanted to try every single cookie on that table. Well... except the ones with coconut. Coconut makes me gag.

I was sitting at a table with people who love dessert and were freely eating the cookies and discussing how amazing they were. I ate my plate (ok... two plates) of veggies. At one point I told Mike that I just didn't want to care anymore. I wanted to say forget it all and just eat the stupid cookies. The temptation was unbelievable. But I also told him "I know that if I start today I won't quit for a month." And I knew in that month I would easily gain five pounds. It's ridiculous. I really have no control.

And then I reminded myself... it's all worth it. Saying no is worth it. I like myself better when I am not eating sugar. I feel like I am in control when I say no instead of giving in. I eat better when I am off the sugar. And when I say no and stick to it I can dress like this...


And being able to dress like that makes me happy. It's fun. I enjoyed dress shopping. I enjoyed the hunt for the perfect accessories. I enjoyed being able to wear something that I loved and felt good in.

I resisted the cookies all night. (That doesn't mean that I ate really great... but I didn't give in to the temptation of sugar and that is what mattered most to me.) I felt good and I felt stronger. And when I got home and looked at the pictures I decided once again that saying no to the cookies no matter how good they taste is worth it. Every time.

I think I will keep saying no.

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