Tuesday, June 8, 2010

UGH!



So... I'm reading The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman. No one recommended it to me. I never heard anyone say it's a great book. In fact, I've never heard anyone say anything about it at all! I was frustrated with my marriage. I was at the Christian bookstore. I decided to check out the marriage section and I decided The Four Seasons of Marriage sounded interesting because we certainly go through seasons. I bought it.

The first four chapters are dedicated to explaining the seasons of marriage. It was easy reading. Then... then I got to the second part of the book... Seven Strategies to Enhance the Seasons of Your Marriage.

UUUGH!!

This is so. hard. SO hard. Every page leaves me convicted of something new. Every chapter leaves me looking within and seeing how wrong I've been. I mean... I wasn't fully blaming Mike for the state of our marriage. I was even willing to go 50/50 in the blame department. But now... now I'm pretty sure it's probably more like 90 me/10 Mike.

I hate this book! I think it's one of the hardest ones I have ever read. I just want to close it and never pick it up again. I just want to forget I ever read it. Maybe even burn it.

But I can't.

I prayed that God would help us work things out and bet back to a good place in our marriage. A lot of times God answers prayers by giving us the information that we need and then asking us to take a few steps. If I close the book and walk away from it and ignore the things I learned, when I meet my Maker he is going to ask me about that. That is not a question I want to have to answer. Instead... I'm going to ask for wisdom and lean on God's strength while he walks me through this storm.. I'm going to take those steps and do the hard work of changing me to change my marriage.

Pray for me! This is not going to be easy!

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