Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Black Cloud

Yesterday I wrote about this feeling that was depressing and dark and heavy. I could feel it in my chest and it made me want to quit everything that was good in my life. I even was crazy discouraged with photography. I didn't want to deal with my kids. I felt really hopeless and sick about life. It was weird.

It had been creeping up on me since sometime this weekend.

I put on some praise and worship music. That helped a little.

I went to Panera Bread and felt much more peaceful while there. I spent some time praying and reading my Bible. And then I just relaxed and finished my book for book group. I needed that time.

When I came home though I started having that dreadful feeling again. I told Mike about it and strange thing... he'd been experiencing the same thing... since sometime this weekend.


We realized something... for a while now we have been fighting FOR our marriage. We've been working on working things out. On finding the heart of it again. And when you find the heart of something you rediscover what makes everything else in life tick. Over the weekend some dreams that were in our heart before were reawakened. We were hopeful about some things we want to do with our lives together. We were excited about how God was going to use us.

Interesting that we both ended up having this feeling of depression, oppression. A lack of desire for anything. Like we were being physically held down. Feeling like doing nothing but laying in bed and being depressed.

But then we prayed together. It was a good time of prayer. We talked. We prayed. We took a stand together. And we both felt better.

I woke up this morning and the black cloud is gone.

It feels good.

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