We all have a way that we do life. We might call it our personality, or our natural bent--the way we handle pressure, the way we listen, the way we look for happiness, the way we control our world. We didn't sit down one day and willfully choose to adopt it but it remains a choice nonetheless. Call it our style of relating. It is a carefully crafted approach to life--especially to relationships--that colors the way we work, the way we love, the way we respond, and the way we simply have a conversation with people. This can be quite an epiphany--you have a style of relating designed to make life work for you!
Our style of relating is born out of brokenness and sin, and it is the Number One Thing that gets in the way of real love and real companionship, the shared adventure and all the beauty of marriage. It is really this simple. The number one thing that gets in the way is your way. I don't mean insisting on getting your way--dimming the lights or finding a better parking spot. I mean your way of going about life, your style of relating.
We are, all of us, utterly committed and deeply devoted to our "style," our "way," our "approach to life." We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It's called marriage.
Ha. Hahaha. (That's my nervous laugh... the one that's all "yeah... you pegged me there.) Aww shucks. Another book that I hate to love.
I can definitely see how my "way of doing life" has got in the way of Mike and I and what our marriage could be. This has all been such a process. Just when I think that I am starting to figure it out a bit God shows me yet another thing, another area that I don't quite have right. I know I will never be perfect and that I will always have things to work on within myself... But this marriage stuff is hard.
I mean... can I at least get an "Amen sister" from the peanut gallery. Can someone say "I've been there" or maybe "I'm there right now." Anyone? Tell me I'm not alone. Please.