Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Gee... thanks for the encouragement.

I'm sure you've heard it. I've heard it. I hear it all the time, read it all the time. It seems to be the way to think and "encourage" others... especially moms.

Someone says something like "ahhhh! The terrible two's!!" And someone else will so nicely respond with "Oh just wait! It only gets worse!" or "Wait till they are teenagers!" or "You think two is bad!?? hahaha. You just wait!"

Why? Why do we have to say things like this? Why is this the attitude we have about our children?

It sucks. Just being honest.

And how does that give a mom who is dealing with the terrible two's any hope at all? How? Please explain it to me. I would love to understand.

Do we need to be terrified of the teen years? Do we need to be terrified of the toddler years? I don't think so. I actually loved when my kids were two. I told Mike from the start that we would not have the terrible two's and so far we haven't. Does that mean that my kids haven't had tantrums and there hasn't been craziness? No. They definitely have their tantrums. But I think half of it is MY attitude toward it all. I can view it as "my insane life" and believe that there is nothing that I can do except wait for them to grow out of it and enter the next terrible stage. OR I can see it as a problem, pray about it and get wisdom for each kid from the Creator and then put it to work.

I choose to go the second route.

Now, I certainly understand that some kids are more stubborn and strong-willed than others. And yes I have my days where I want to pull my hair out and then throw myself on the floor and bang my head off of it a few times. And yes there are days when Mike walks in the door after work and I walk out all "YOUR kids are going to kill me today! I'm out of here!"

But 90% of the time I am just loving the stage we are in. And I refuse to dread the next. And I refuse to say things like "OH! You just WAIT!" How about a better dose of reality instead... something like... "I know it can be hard! And frustrating. And tiring. And seem really insane sometimes. But I have learned so much about life and my kids and myself through each stage and I believe that each stage is what you make it. I don't think the teen years need to be dreaded. Sure there will be new problems to face but if we start now and build that foundation of God and faith and morals and teach our children how to make choices and cope with life I believe that the teen years can be some of the best."

Yes... this coming from someone who's oldest child is not yet four. But I remember when Liza started crawling and someone said "It's only going to get harder from here." No... I actually liked it WAY more when she could walk and I didn't have to carry her anywhere. Then when she started talking and I said I loved it someone had to say "Yeah. It won't be long and she'll be talking back to you and you'll be wishing she never learned how to talk." No. Hasn't happened yet. In fact I love that she can talk more and more every day. If she couldn't talk I wouldn't get to hear stories from her babysitters like I heard last night where Liza looked to the sky and said "That's heaven. That's where God lives." Then she pointed to her belly and said "and the Holy Spirit lives in here." I'll take talking over not talking any day.

So yeah. My point... let's actually focus on the good. Maybe offer some real help and advice to those who have the kids that need a little more work. But PLEASE stop telling everyone that they have to dread every stage of their kid's lives more and more.

Let's enjoy where we are at and make the most of it.

Because seriously... what can be worse than having a baby that does nothing but sleep, eat, cry and poop and can't communicate anything and must have you up every few hours at night? I have to believe that it can only get better from there.

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