Things in my life have been stressful lately. It tends to get that way every winter. Mike roofs so he is home all winter.
Every winter I get frustrated because there are two of us at home all day every day. (Or almost anyways.) I know for some that may sound like a dream come true... and it is... for about two weeks. And then I am ready to have life back to normal again. I like my routines and it certainly doesn't take two of us to keep up the house. Not to mention there is absolutely nothing at all to do in and around our town in the winter.
So yeah... I've been stressed and tense... and that's no fun for anyone.
Finances are a little tight this month but we were able to work some things around and I am spending a few days at a cheap hotel in another town. My sanity is important and I needed to get out of the house because I found that all I could focus on was the problem.
The point of me going away for a few days was so that I could get some rest, unwind some of this tension and refocus. I needed to see more than the problem and hopefully go home with a better attitude. Not to mention that I also think it is good for me to go away once in a while long enough for my family to miss me and for me to miss them.
It's going well.
But what I love most is God's timing.
I'm participating in a Bible study at my church. We are doing Stepping Up by Beth Moore. It's about the fifteen Psalms of Ascent that were said on pilgrimages. We spend two days on each Psalm... break it down, work it out, pray it. It's been good.
This morning I was on Psalm 123... I lift my eyes to You, the One enthroned in heaven.
And I was convicted.
Beth Moore asks: "Where are we looking? Right now in the challenge that surrounds me and all that busies me or injures me, where am I looking? Where are my intentions?"
She goes on to say... "When every natural instinct begs us to stare wide-eyed in the face of our circumstances, demands, oppressors, and false saviors, what--or who--ultimately wins our focus?... Where we look--where we genuinely fasten our gaze--amid continual life challenges has a tremendous impact on how we feel."
So where do I look? Honestly... and I hate that I am this way... almost everywhere but God. I remember him when I am desperate. :( That makes me sad. But isn't that what this time away is all about? Too look to God. To seek him and see things how he sees them. To find wisdom. To CHANGE ME. And as Moore says, "Everything else will downsize into its proper place when we look to God alone...He is enthroned over everything that troubles you."
I'm going to start lifting my eyes to God, the one enthroned in heaven.