My kids are awesome.
I know I say that a lot but I really really believe they are. They touch my heart in so many ways and remind me to turn to God.
This year has been rough for me. A LOT of stress. More than I've had in a long time and there are plenty of days where I just want to crawl in a dark hole and sit there by myself until it all goes away. I recently decided to get all serious on my budget again (like I should have been all along) and make great progress and get that savings built up. Then, in these past two weeks we found out while getting our car inspected that we will likely only get one more year out of it. (Too much rust.) It IS fifteen years old... but it's been doing so well for us. Then I found out that we will have some unexpected medical expenses. (Our insurance sucks. Massive deductible.) And then today we got a letter in the mail from our landlord... rent is being raised $50, effective July 1.
Make it stop!!!
Sometimes when I get completely overwhelmed... like a few moments ago... I end up laying on the floor in my bedroom between the bed and the wall. Don't worry... there is plenty of space there but it's kind of my hiding place. And there I cry.
Liza and Jason found me laying beside my bed today and they both laid down with me and gave me hugs and kisses. Liza said "What's wrong Mommy?" and I told her that I was just really sad. (Defeated and discouraged is more like it.)
Liza's response was so pure and true. She said "But God loves you all the time Mommy. Even when you are really sad. Even when you are surrounded by bad guys."
And she is right. God loves me. He cares about what I am going through. He is my Provider and Healer and Friend and Daddy and my I AM... He is everything I need to have victory over every situation I face. My hope is in HIM and His joy is my strength.
He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
Rest for my soul.
I need some of that.
I'm off to Panera for some quiet time. (Don't worry... I have a gift card!)