And then a wonderful friend said she was giving us enough money to cover the cost of the conference. We just needed to find a babysitter and pay for the hotel. We did. And we went.
This was my Facebook status on Friday before leaving...
Sooo... Mike and I are going to this marriage conference and people keep saying things like "have fun" or "enjoy the conference". I'm just wondering if marriage conferences truly are fun and enjoyable?? Since I'm a fan of honesty I'll just admit now that I'm kinda sorta slightly terrified. I have a theory... it's either going to be really really really good because we finally talk about all those things that need talked about OR it's going to be really really really terrible... because we finally talk about all those things that need talked about. I'll let you know on Sunday!
Of course people now want to know how it was. Here are my thoughts...
I didn't enjoy it. I mean... it's really not my first choice of how to spend a kid-free weekend. And it was a hard weekend. I know I've mentioned it before without much detail... Mike and I have had a hard year. I'll talk about it someday... when the time is right.
I didn't enjoy it but it was good. It was a necessary weekend. And I believe it was a helpful weekend. Of course I won't know how helpful for at least a few more weeks.
Here's the thing...
Great conference. Great information. But when asked "how has this weekend impacted your marriage?" my answer is ask me in a month. Why? Because everything over the weekend was prompted. We talked about certain things because someone said "talk about these thing." It was good to talk about those things... we NEEDED to talk about those things... but if we don't do anything with what we discovered in those talks then the weekend has not impacted my marriage.
I want to know that things are better when they aren't prompted. It means a lot more to me if I do something for someone because I WANT to... because I CHOSE to... not because I was told to. And same for when someone else does something for me. I'm one of those people where Valentine's day is nice and I'll take any gifts that are given on that day... but it would be so much more exciting and meaningful to have a gift given on a just because day.
I know I probably sound negative and that's not my goal. The conference was good. And it truly can be a life changing thing. We were told that one couple that had been married for five years was at the same conference. They had been separated but after the weekend they were able to talk some things through and they are getting back together. That's amazing! This Weekend to Remember thing has huge impact on marriages and families. I 100% recommend it! I just can't tell you the extent of the impact on MY marriage yet.
Just being realistic.
While many others left all "Wow! That was an absolutely amazing weekend and we are once again cross-eyed lovers and feel like we just got married yesterday"... I left feeling all "I can't wait to get out of here." Maybe the cross-eyed lovers feeling of just getting married all over again will hit me in a few weeks.
And those are some of my thoughts on the weekend of marriage conference. Have you ever gone to a marriage conference? Did you leave thinking it was the best weekend ever or were you like me and couldn't wait to get out of there?
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