I hate it so incredibly much.
It was really really hard for me to buy a house because we had been debt free for over four years and to think of going from nothing owed to over $50,000 owed made me want to cry. But we knew it was time to buy a house and God had a place for us.
So we did the 20% down and got the fifteen year mortgage and started paying on it.
People like to tell me things like "It's ok because you have a house now."
But really... debt isn't ok with me. Ever.
The rich rules over the poor, And the borrower becomes the lender's slave.
I've always known this verse but the other day it became much more real to me. Mike told me that he heard from our mortgage company and they say that we need to get more flood insurance. Apparently what the insurance company decided on for us isn't good enough. If we refuse to get more insurance? The mortgage company will purchase extra insurance for us and add it to our escrow.
We have no choice.
When we borrowed the money and acquired debt we also acquired slave status.
I hate this situation. It made me see the reality of being slave to the lender. Debt is no joke. And that's why today I have made a decision. Not an easy one. One I cried over and will probably cry over again. Sacrifices are never fun. But I have to think of the whole picture now and not just the moment.
I need to pay off this debt as soon as possible. Because of that I am once again putting off my camera upgrade... and likely a trip that I had been hoping all year for to visit family and friends in Texas and Louisiana. (Sorry friends. :( I really wanted to come!)
I am only $250 away from my goal of when I would start looking for a camera. But it's more important to look out for my family. To pay off this debt. To be free once again.
I know that many will think that I am extreme and taking this all a bit too literally. I don't care. Debt is debt and debt sucks. When someone other than my insurance company can tell me what to do with my insurance... that's not a good thing. I need to be out from under that. It's not a good way to live.
Needless to say I also won't be fixing my floors or kitchen cupboards for a while and it may be a few years before I get my mattress off the floor.
Dave Ramsey always says "Live like no one else so that someday you can live like no one else." That's the plan. And for now that looks like sacrifice in order to be debt free.
I think I'll go cry a little more now.