Tuesday, January 15, 2013

An Emotional Eater's Journal

I'm hungry.
Or so I think I am.
But am I really hungry?
I crave sugar.
I've searched my house hoping to find something.
I DID find something.
But that's not REALLY what I need is it?
Plus, two days ago I decided I needed to break up with sugar again.
It's no good for me.
But I WANT it. REALLY want it.
Justsayno. Justsayno. Justsayno.
Find something else.
NO! Don't just find something else to replace it.
FOOD is not what I need.
I'm NOT actually hungry at all!
No. It's not physical hunger.
It just masquerades as physical hunger.
I'm not hungry. Not for food anyway.

I'm hungry for something far greater than food.
Something that will sustain much longer than food.
Something real.
I'm hungry for my Savior.
His love. His goodness. His grace. His mercy.

My stomach isn't hungry.
But my soul is.
My spirit is hungry.

It's a hunger that only God can satisfy.
I can go on trying to fill the void with food day after day.
Or I can deal with this once and for all.
I can stay in the same rut.
OR I can say ENOUGH!

Oh Jesus! I need you sooooo much today! I'm so incredibly tired of this struggle. This constant battle. Filling myself up but never feeling full. Today I say ENOUGH! God... I am hungry for YOU! It's you that I want. It's you that I need. Fill me up. Give me strength to conquer that which holds me back and keeps me bound. I want to break free of these chains Lord! Give me wisdom... show me the steps to take and how to fight and how to find true fullness in you.

Help me Jesus.
Help me Jesus....

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