Some days are harder than others.
My heart still hurts but there are easy days. However, there are also the days that are full of random reminders. Today is one of those days.
And honestly, I've been feeling quite numb lately.
Passion... What's that?
People... I'd rather be alone. It's easier.
And not so weird. What IS weird is that so many know but no one ever talks about it. ELEPHANT!
Or maybe none of it ever happened?
Kind of feeling like instead of living the dream I was IN a dream.
Speaking of dreams... the other night while I was up every hour with Liza because she was sick... in those moments that I did fall asleep I was constantly dreaming that I tattooed the word HOPE on my left ring finger. Kind of made me want to go do it for real.
I know I should just get into the Word of God. That I should spend loads of time with Him. But I can't seem to get past the numbness. I look at my Bible and feel "eh". I love God! I really do. But I'm numb. I talk to God but all I have is questions. Angry questions.
How do I move past this place?
How do I get back to feeling something other than pain?
How do I get back to hope?
How do I get back to life?