I know I've been vague about the things I am going through. It's not that I don't want to talk about it all... it's that I can't.
some of those things would be inappropriate to discuss here.
some of those things are still too raw to talk about... I would say all the wrong things.
some of those things are just too hard to talk about right now.
The good news is that I am still standing.
I'm not really sure how, but I am.
Just the other day I thought I was doing all right... but then I got slammed with something else. There seems to be no end. And in case anyone thinks I'm just being dramatic... I'm not. I have so many real, hard issues right now it's ridiculous. My emotions... I don't even know where they are some days!
There are a lot of days where I want to just withdraw from the world and do life alone. In some ways I suppose I am doing that. But I'm trying not to go too far in that direction. When I find myself slipping too far into depression I grab my camera and take a walk.
I thank God for my camera. I find so much joy in taking pictures. He certainly knew what he was doing all those times he told me to wait... not yet... it's not time for a new camera. It came at the perfect time when inspiration and life was necessary.
And that's what I love about God... he's there. Always. Forever present and able to see into my future. He says "I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
THAT is the reason I am still standing. Sustain means to support, hold or bear up from below. God is my sustainer. He will hold me up. I will continue to stand because of WHO HE IS. I will make it through this hard and trying time. I will climb out of this valley.
The name Laura means crowned with Laurel. A VICTOR gets crowned with laurel. I AM crowned with laurel, I AM a victor.
Victory is mine.
I just wish it would come a little faster.