Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Guilt

Guilt: remorse or self-reproach caused by feeling that one is responsible for a wrong or offense.

Ugh.
I didn't do the right thing.
And I'm feeling guilty.

The other day I was driving downtown. It had started raining and I saw a lady walking down the street. As I drove through the intersection the large bag that was in her hand slipped out and the contents spilled onto the sidewalk.

My immediate thought was that I should pull over and help her... there was an easy place for me to pull over. How convenient.

But I didn't stop. I drove on and in a quick second it was too late.
Too late to do what I should have done.
Too late to pull over and help her... in the rain.

The feeling of guilt was immediate.
I was selfish.
I was wrong.

And now I'm left with nothing but guilt and what-ifs.

What if she had been thinking that no one ever noticed her and I was God's way of showing her that she was noticed?
What if she just needed a reason to smile?
What if we would have ended up having an great conversation?
What if I was the one that would have received something that day by stopping to help her?

There will be no do-over for that moment.
I'll never know who the woman was that I didn't stop to help.
I'll never be able to tell her that I am sorry for driving by when I knew in my gut I should stop.

I missed a once in a lifetime moment of impact and I don't ever want to miss one again.




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