On August 22 I wrote about how I was going to stop surrendering to food. I was going to stand up and say "No more food! You are no longer in control of me! I will no longer surrender to you and I am going to take control of my life when it comes to you."
I know it sounds silly but I WAS surrendering to food!
Angry? Food will love me.
Sad? Food will make me feel better.
Cookies? YES PLEASE! Because I don't know how to say no.
But then I stopped surrendering. I realized I had a choice... every. single. time. There is always a choice.
But man! You guys!!! It has not been easy.
Last weekend we celebrated Liza's birthday. I was sitting at home suffering through PMS (hi guys!) while Mike baked Liza's cake. The smell! It was so divine. I looove cake. And everything in me was telling me I NEEDED it! Like NOW! No joke... I emailed the girls I do accountability with all "I'm DYING!!! I want to eat the cake. My mouth is watering and it won't stop! The thought and smell of cake is consuming meee!" Yeah. I can be a bit dramatic. But I really felt like I was sitting here salivating like a dog over the thought and smell of cake. It was out of control! I blame the hormones.
In all seriousness though I was completely obsessed with the idea of cake.
And I had a choice.
Surrender... or don't surrender.
I chose to not surrender this time. I took control. I told myself no... because giving in would have been surrendering for me this time because I didn't feel in control.
The cravings and the need for cake passed and I never had a piece. I didn't even lick my fingers or the knife after icing it.
Then it was my birthday on Wednesday and it's weird to have a birthday and not eat cake... but I knew I wasn't ready for it. So I had friends over for breakfast instead of indulging in a cake. :) It was a great choice and it was tons of fun!
I have had plenty of opportunities to surrender to food in the past 38 days. It has been all kinds of hard and at times torture. But this morning the scale gave me a great big congratulatory fist pump and shouted "IT WAS WORTH IT!" (Wouldn't it be awesome if scales actually did that!?) In 38 days I am down 8 pounds and the only thing that changed is that I stopped surrendering to food.
But clothes fitting better...
Feeling better about myself...
Eating what is healthy...
Not feeling bloated all the time...
Taking control of food...
All of it has been worth the struggle!
This weekend concludes our birthday marathon as we celebrate Mike's birthday. I will continue on with my NO SURRENDER spree!