I've been holding it in the past week because I didn't want to rain on anyone's "merry" but Christmas is over right? That means I can let Scrooge out a little right? Today and the next few days all of blogland will be blogging about their awesome Christmas and how happy they are and reviewing their amazing year. Not me. I'm going to have a pity party and I invite all of you that want to gag over another "life this year was grand and Christmas was AWESOME" post to feel free to join me. :)
I honestly wish I had a "life this year was grand" post to write. I'm happy for those of you who do have that going for you. But I'm not into faking and I'm horrible at lying so I'll just tell you that I'm tired of this year and I'm just going to have my pity party starting now. Feel free to dismiss yourself at any time. I won't take offense!
You all know that Mike and I are a mess. We have our good days and things were feeling better for a while. But... life is full of triggers and they are usually quite unexpected. When I meet those triggers life blows wide open all over again and I have to sort through the mess and find my way to happy again. I ran into one of those triggers about a week before Christmas and found myself really depressed.
Mike had to work over the weekend but I couldn't wait to pack up the kids and head to my parents' for a few days of visiting with family. That day came, we got in the car and we went. Unfortunately, after being at my parents' for a few hours I tucked the kids in bed and Liza puked.
Not a great way to start a visit.
She woke up the next morning feeling fine but I wasn't feeling quite right. So... I sat around on the couch all day and took a good nap but I didn't feel right taking Liza out to visit with the extended family since she puked less than 24 hours before... and I still wasn't feeling well myself. We missed visiting with all my aunts/uncles/cousins and grandparents.
The next morning I woke up feeling fine and I needed to get out of the house so I decided to head to Walmart to get a few last minute things. Started the van and realized it wasn't working right. Got a diagnosis and hoped it was right because it would be any easy and cheap fix. But I needed to get it done because I was running out of days before Christmas and if I couldn't get it fixed I needed to figure out how to get my kids back home. So that afternoon while the entire family bowled I was buying car parts and trying to come up with a plan. I couldn't wait for anyone to help me any more so I called Mike, popped the hood and had him walk me through changing a spark plug. With some help from my youngest brother we got that thing changed... but the van was still running funky.
By this time I knew I wasn't very good company. I came into the visit stressed out from home life and just had more stress piled on. The next morning the car seemed to be running just fine so I packed up and headed home with the kids a day early.
I was still pretty depressed with life and spent the next day and a half watching movies in bed and sleeping. Although, I honestly haven't had a good night's sleep in over a week. I'm exhausted.
Christmas came and I did my best to enjoy it. That was also a fail. The kids had a blast and got "just what I wanted" over and over again. Me? I just wanted a break from life. So Mike and the kids headed to his parents' house and just planned to stay the night.
I stayed home and put away all the Christmas stuff... because I was just tired of Christmas. The house was clean and it felt good! I relaxed with a movie and eventually went to bed. However, in the middle of the night I awoke because I felt cold air blowing on my face. 4:30am and the furnace isn't working and I'm home alone.
Does it end?
Anyone want to fix my furnace?
You see that indoor temperature? (We no longer get the outdoor temp because a bird knocked the transmitter thingy into the recycle bin and we didn't realize it until the recycle truck came and went.) Anyways... it's cold in here! Someone is supposed to be coming this afternoon but man! My toes are cold. My hands are cold. My nose is cold. It's just cold. It was actually down to 51 degrees. Brrr!
So yeah... one thing after another all... week... long.
I'm hoping the furnace isn't too expensive of a fix and I'm hoping nothing else goes wrong in the next 24 hours. And I hope your life has been going better than mine!