Monday, November 24, 2014
Last winter was really rough for me emotionally. The year had already been hard for me but during December and January it seemed that the little bit in my life that was hanging on as good crumbled and fell apart with the rest of my life.
I spent full weeks inside.
I was extremely depressed.
I was hurting.
I wanted to run away to a place where no one knew me.
My life was a complete mess.
And then the van broke, and the furnace broke, and the van broke again, then the car decided to break, my marriage was a joke and we found out Mike no longer qualified for unemployment.
Nothing went right during December and January of last year.
Fast forward to today...
I find myself having a lot of anxiety as December approaches. I am in a much better place than I was a year ago but I still find myself wanting to run. What if this winter is a repeat of last winter!? I don't think I can handle it again.
I know that running and hiding is not the answer but I still find myself retreating from life just a little bit... trying to stay safe. Trying to make sure my heart doesn't get hurt like it did a year ago.
The truth is I am afraid... and that fear is causing me a lot of anxiety.
Please pray for me friends.