The closing of my school will change our community. It will also create all kinds of difficulties for families... especially those that do not own a vehicle and chose to live in the area of my school because EVERYONE walks. We do not have any busing at all. We are a unique community and not having a school in the middle of it will change us is in big ways.
I have stretched the boundaries of my comfort zone far and wide as I try to make the board members see the importance of our school to our community and the families that live here. I have found myself caring about the people far more than I ever thought I could. But the people at my school... they have become the people I do life with. They are worth fighting for.
I am emotionally drained.
I have poured myself out.
And I must continue to pour myself out because this is not yet over.
I have to admit that I have days that it all feels really hopeless.
Days where I am angry at God for calling me up as a leader.
Days where I want to give in and give up.
Just the other day I learned more news. Every blow hits harder than the one before. I spent a good amount of time crying. My heart was devastated. I was more discouraged than ever in this mess.
But then I opened up my journal and on the page I was going to write on was this quote...
"You are not here in the world for yourself.You have been sent here for others.The world is waiting for you!"~Catherine Booth
A timely reminder for me.
A reminder that I am not in this for myself... but for the children who need our school and have no one to speak up for them.
A reminder that someone needs me.
And this reminder is the encouragement that will get me through to the next blow. And when that next blow comes I am certain that God will send me another timely reminder that gives me the strength to go yet one more step... and after that another... and after that another...
I'm in this thing until it's done... Because I'm not in it for myself.
Although... I can't imagine how empty the silence will feel if the school playground across the road from my house is no longer full of squeals and laughter of awesome little children throughout the day.
Please pray for me... for strength, courage and wisdom. Pray that more people in my community will begin speaking up and showing up at meetings. Pray.