Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Finding Love Again

We fall in love.
We fall out of love.
And sometimes, if we are lucky, we get to fall in love with the same person all over again.

I shared on my anniversary in January that things have not been easy. We have had some really hard years... years filled with anger and even some hated. Bitterness and hurt. It was hard. It was painful. There were days that I wondered if ending my marriage would be best... because surely divorce would feel better than the heartache I was living with.

I remember having a conversation with Mike at one point and we realized that the kids just might be the only thing that was still keeping us together. I remember saying something along the lines of well that's a stupid reason to stay together. It's not good enough and if that's the only reason we are still together than we might as well just go ahead and end it now.

But we had made a promise that was meant to be for life.
And I was kind of stuck because we had decided I would be a stay-at-home mom and I hadn't worked in years and didn't even know where to start if I all of a sudden had to support myself.

I'm kind of glad that I was stuck like that though.
It made me have to find more reasons to stay together.

It wasn't easy.
At first we were lucky if we had an hour or two of peace between us.
Eventually that turned into full days without fighting.
Then weeks.
And after a while we realized we couldn't remember the last time we had an all out fight.

And now... now I am finding myself giddy with excitement as I wait for our upcoming getaway. We aren't going anywhere special or exciting. It's only for four days. But I'm a lucky girl because I get to get away with that guy that I used to hate. I'm lucky because he stuck with me even when I was absolutely awful to be around. I'm lucky because that guy I hated just two years ago has once again become my best friend.

We might have days on out getaway where we do nothing... but doing nothing WITH Mike is far better than doing everything without him.

I'm so glad we stuck it out during the hard times.

Taken May 2009... before we started hating each other. :)

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